What is the only thing you cannot get back?

TRB/ November 13, 2019/ Blogging/ 0 comments

I’ve just completed something I never thought I’d be able to do.

I left Dubai through a lot of pain with a stupid plan and went to India to do something that would help a bar game become big. Just sounds wrong doesn’t it? I’ve trusted since 17th September of 2015 and till today, the 12th of November 2019 – I’ve been taken to task for betting on the wrong horses. Sorry but I guess their names sounded cute/macho to me. Guess even I’m fed up of choosing sides now.

You got the ones who talk the good talk and leave you hanging. You got the ones who’d walk the walk and then leave you stranded on another path without saying. You got the ones that will follow you every step of the way and then sell you behind your back but there are also the ones who’d talk great about you and then sell you short when you need it the most. But the worst, the absolute worst are those who think that they control your life and do whatever they can via puppeteer sticks and thread. Trust me, as the saying goes – I’m gonna get you good..

So as you can see – I’ve seen enough. Unfortunately, I was never brought up like this. This whole politics jargon was what politicians did – that’s all I thought it was. This whole back biting and gossip fad were things that I saw on soap operas. But here there has to be drama in everyone’s lives and it was constructed and it was made to run like that.

Well, I played darts in the midst of all of this and honestly if you just put your head down and plow on it’s not impossible to get to where you have to. After all, I have. A person who has played the game for 20+ years to get to where I am today. So yes, it does take some work and trust me, I am nowhere close to the top.

From the various heads of Indian Darts who talk of nothing but the heavenly abodes while providing plans that resemble the darkest parts of hell – I implore you to use your brains while you’re listening. Sorry, I just got back to Dubai – still need to get out of the whole “drama creation” phase.

Actually the most hurtful thing that has happened in India is that I do not think I achieved what I went there for. I went there to help a bar game grow big. We managed the attain status as a World Cup Darts playing nation and we lost it after two years of poor showing – watch the videos, we sucked. And yes, I was definitely part of both those doubles pairings. Then after a gap of absolutely nothing, we got the spot for the World Championship Qualifier which honestly felt to me like morsels of food given to a prisoner that was half beaten to death. But it’s how you look at it isn’t it? We aren’t supposed to stand a chance against the best in the world but we are now given the platform to beat them. It’s like you’re arming me with an AK-47 against freakin’ Neo. But considering the fact that we’re all trying to do it to the best of our abilities, now we should still look at it the same right? The path is right there, please look that way.. We’ll use floodlights to light up the way for you in case you still get lost. The first thing that we need is direction and we’ve been provided that.

So now we have those same so called leaders of Indian Darts who have their own organisations. One doesn’t even know how to organize a tournament and conducts a National Tournament that involves just 10 people – Yes, we’re India. We get 10 people locked inside the toilet every second of the day – that’s the number of people who contest in one body’s nationals. This one looks at the best players in the world and calls them crap. They stand for the World Darts Federation and also have the nerve to send children who are about 12 to 15 to take part in Men’s Singles. Funny isn’t it.. So there is then this other parallel body that doesn’t stand for the World Darts Federation, actually – I do not even know what they stand for honestly. They organize tournaments once or twice a year out of necessity and then call us out for playing games when we organize close to 30 events a year? Oh and when they do organize tournaments, the standards are freaking amazing!! Funny again isn’t it.

So yes, I’ve been at the back of this bus side-winding down this hill for a long long time trying to keep myself from puking through the window. Such a bunch of jokers – goody good. And then I see that those who talk the talk – don’t follow on. You see, I’ve been in darts a long time – but I’ve been a sportsman my whole life. Ever since I was a thin kid in athletics to a fat kid slinging discuses in the field to a fit young man running marathons and playing basketball to a big lump now sitting in front of the laptop – I’ve been a sportsman my whole life till now. And darts has been there ever since I was that fat kid. So trust me, I know when some one talks to me and gives me bullshit – I’ve had 20+ years of giving bullshit to excuse myself from practicing darts as well!!

So yes, what hurts the most are those who say they’d partake in the vision and never even open their eyes. My eye are open but everyone around me are blind. Am I the best darts player in the country? I know I am. Do you think I care if the country believes it? Hell no!! Do you think I care if my fellow darts players believe it? Hell no!! Do you think I care if my own family believes it? Hell no!! And that’s all it is. So whoever there is behind me – friends, family or just people – I’d still be doing my thing. I’ve been doing it alone for a long while and I’ll do it alone again. Whether it be team mates or anyone with financial support or just mental support – isn’t it funny? I wish I had a player better than me here. I’d never let go of them. I would stick to them till every ounce of information I could get from them was in me and I would try and get them to push themselves more by getting to their level. I’ve never had that in this country. If you do not help your best player, what are you doing then?!?! But, oh please, this isn’t a blog about asking for help – it’s about telling you that your help comes at a cost and I do not want to bear that cost. When I make it big – you wont be able to afford me anyways, so keep everything to yourself. I might have the time for you but trust me I will choose not to give you that time either. I’m not coming to you begging at your feet to help me. If you want to do good for this so-called sport – this is something that’s a given. So stop the drama and the talk. You ain’t even qualified to walk the walk yet. Oh yes, Darts went from a game to being termed as a “Recreational Sport” as well during my time there with these clowns.

So yes, I’ve seen nothing else but quitters here. To be fair, I’ve seen quite a few encouraging signs of those trying and getting better – but judgement on them would be too hard this quick. The rest, well – I write this blog not just to lash out at times but also to keep a sort of diary because my mind is pretty weird in the way it thinks but I always have a plan for myself. In the blog titled “Directions Please”, I wrote of exactly this and nothing has changed. Did I predict something? Absolutely not. Just stated a fact that most people would rather sit and prefer to make a name for themselves by not lifting a finger – Well, caught you all red handed didn’t I? And now you do not have anyone to do that for you – So will you actually get off that couch and do something or just let everything go down the drain?

It’ll always be easier to do things alone. If you want to follow, then follow. If not, leave me be because trust me, I’m not following you. Just remember – the blind cannot lead and I have only one ticket for myself on this journey ahead. I have very few people that I trust and my trust in them will always remain – but the rest, thank you for the lessons.

I’ve lost so much time and I’m going to make up for it. Trust me, I am.

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